From Catherine Given
author: Brady, Sally Ryder
A Box of Darkness: The Story of a Marriage
When I heard that this book was in the same vein as Joan Didion’s “The Year of Magical Thinking”, I had to try it. The two memoirs share many themes and are equally un-putdown-able. In recounting the story of the Bradys’ lives, Brady smoothly carries us back and forth from her present-day fear and loneliness as a new widow, through her tumultuous 46-year marriage. Sally Ryder Brady’s intelligence shines through in a straightforward, easy style that rings true.
As I blazed through A Box of Darkness, I felt that I was spending a weekend with a great new friend. Like Didion and her husband, John Gregory Dunne, the Brady’s were productive and distinguished writers. Despite her husband Upton’s increasingly narcissistic and erratic behavior, Sally remains steady and calm. She’s trapped by her love for a man so self-absorbed that he can only give the family negative attention. She sticks it out with Brady, whom she calls her “Best Beloved,” but his alcoholism, unexplained disappearances and mercurial moods take a heavy toll.
As they continue to socialize and conduct business individually and as a couple, they mix with famous people: bicoastal writers, publishers, actors, producers, and restaurateurs. Sally’s strength in the face of Brady’s mistreatment is all the more remarkable for her ability to retain her dignity and self-esteem in these elite circles.
Like so many women of this era, Sally manages her large, active family’s life with vigor and grace, giving her children all she can, thinking little of her own needs. When Upton dies at 76, she is simply bereft. Worse, she soon uncovers troubling evidence of a secret life he was leading, and struggles to piece together who her “Best Beloved” really was.